A Chilled Weekend

Like the title says, I had a very relaxed weekend. In Durban it was overcast, raining and cold for much of it, so there was no real incentive to be out and about.


On Friday evening, Paul and I just chilled at my place, watching last weekend’s episode of Rome and starting to watch Return to Oz. It had been a long week though, so we were both micro-sleeping by 30 minutes into the film. We were in bed by 10:30.

Making amends for our fight on Thursday, on Friday evening I gave Paul a belated anniversary card (with a long meaningful message, of course), and Season 3-4 of ‘Allo ‘Allo on DVD, which, if it hadn’t been an anniversary gift was going to be part of Paul’s Christmas present. I know I had a brilliant alternate idea for Christmas, but I’ve forgotten it, and will need my memory jogging in the interim.


While Paul programmed during the day, I worked at home. After finishing my November GEAR column for a Monday deadline, I then scanned and resized around 95 photos for my mother’s 50th birthday video clip tribute. Her party is on 30 September, her actual birthday, so I have 2 weeks to edit the montage of photos together to music.

Anyway, my mind was fried by the time I finished working in the late afternoon, so I decided to treat myself to a break for the rest of the evening. I got down to Paul’s, and after making dinner for Paul, Robin and myself, I set up the laptop on Paul’s bed and just vegged, watching DVDs.

I finished Return to Oz, which I’m happy to report holds up very well (like The Neverending Story), with some fantastic stop-motion claymation animation, and impressive sets (no CGI here). There were several things that I had forgotten, including one of my favourite childhood fantasies - a lunch pail tree, where each bucket-like fruit contains wrapped up ham sandwiches etc.

After Return to Oz I finally got around to watching BloodRayne, based on the video game of the same name. It really is difficult to explain how utterly crap this film is.

BloodRayne has a decent cast that includes Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Geraldine Chaplin, Meat Loaf and Billy Zane. But the film is real career-ending stuff.

The film totally missing the point of the game, which had a busty half human-half-vampire killing Nazis in World War II Germany. It’s supposed to be over-the-top fun. In the film, Loken, as BloodRayne, is decidedly unsexy, scraggly and utterly powerless, as she roams around Medieval Eastern Europe in her dirty looking outfit, getting her ass kicked. In her big ‘hot’ sex scene, she looks more like an ape than anything else, with her mouth gaping open, and grunting while clinging to prison cell bars.

Milla Jovovich does a far better job at playing steely, acrobatic heroines!

Anyway, the film is truly bizarre because it alternates between being entirely dull, laughably bad and just disgustingly gratuitous (you know it has to be gory if I’m bitching about it). Blood sprays everywhere, bodies and entrails are hacked in close up for no reason, and BloodRayne actually has a full-on blood moustache at one point. For good measure we’re treated to a 2 minute series of bloody highlights at the end of the film. Again, for no reason.

It’s a sad day when Underworld is vastly superior to something.

Anyway, sick and tired of being attacked for his rubbish films, director Uwe Boll has challenged his critics to face him in the boxing ring. So he’ll be taking part in 5 fights, against writers for assorted websites like Something Awful and Aint It Cool News. It truly is a bizarre, pointless exercise because Boll apparently has boxing experience and the guys he’s fighting are plump, pony-tailed geeks.

You can see Boll’s first match here, where he is victorious by KO.


I started the day off reading The Watchmen, and then lost the rest of the wet Sunday to Titan Quest. Gothicus, the Battle Mage is now Level 29, and Paul and I are bashing Yetis in the Orient. Apart from the lag, this probably is my favourite game of the year. It’s certainly the best value for money in terms of playing time.

In the evening we watched Bruce Willis in Hostage, which was actually quite good until the end, when it became overblown and overcomplicated.

And that was the weekend…


Dante said…
Talking about milla her new movie Ultraviolet is out where she plays a super assasin bent on getting revenge on her makers. Can't wait to see it. She is by far the best action actress ever. Love her stuff.
Unknown said…
The only thing, and I mean ONLY thing I remember about Return to Oz is the witches faces that she had in glass cabinets. That freaked me out. Perhaps if you feel like it some time we can watch it together? I’d love to see it.
Pfangirl said…
I've seen bits and pieces of Ultraviolet- looks like it definitely borrows heavily from The Matrix, with style prioritised over substance.

Still, Milla dominates the screen and seizes the audience's attention. We believe in her power. The same cannot be said for Kristanna in BloodRayne. Her character is utterly pathetic, and ultimately wins out more as a result of luck, and other people taking risks, than anything else.
Pfangirl said…
Heads, Ashley, Mombi the witch collects heads!

The scene where Dorothy is pursued by a headless body down that passageway lined with screaming heads is probably the freakiest in the whole film.

The whole darkening and corruption of Oz reminded me a lot of American McGee's Alice.

And Ashley, you're welcome to watch it...
Dante said…
Well in my opinion the best vampire/vampire slayer was kate beckingsale in underworld and Van Hellsing respectively.
Pfangirl said…
Hmm, that gives me an idea for a blog entry - my favourite vampire-themed movies.

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