A break in transmission

Hey all, my apologies but there won't be a proper blog update today. I started one; I collected the images, but in the end I couldn't get it done for this morning, and I'm not sure what time I may get around to writing it today.


Plus, I think I need to take a mental health day. Apart from a bad cold throwing my routine completely the past couple of days, I've also been feeling increasingly down and stressed about my employment situation. In the past month I was interviewed twice for 2 jobs. At the one company, they seemed so impressed that I was added to the director's Funnies email list and met every senior staff member. A week later I was emailed and told that I was very impressive - the best candidate - but beyond their hiring budget. None of the other candidates got the job; the company is apparently still looking for "that rare animal" to fill the post.

As for the other job, I'm still waiting for them to make a decision. Along with 2 interviews for the position, I also completed an all-day assignment. I'm supposed to hear the outcome by the end of this week but the fact that they're still interviewing new people after a month suggests that they too have not found their perfect person. Or, more correctly, I am not that perfect person.

And I really liked both jobs. I was excited for them. They came with a variety of tasks and responsibilities, and weren't just bog standard advertising copywriting jobs which I've frankly grown disillusioned with.

Anyway, with impending professional rejection looming yet again, this entire week, despite still feeling off-colour I've been snatching at whatever part-time work is offered to me. I don't feel I have any other choice - a right to say "No" - because I have no other income. The thing is, in pretty much every case this week I've been left feeling used - a skivvy doing tasks that nobody else wants. Least of all me.

So on Tuesday I ended up sitting in a gale again for ages, waiting while in reality my superior had buggered off without saying anything. And yesterday I sat for 7 hours straight proofreading the thesis of a Master's student, for an urgent deadline of this morning... only to be told at the end that he really only needed a Uno Fiat of proofing jobs; not a Ferrari. But how you only casually proof something, I have no idea. The end result was me slashing my freelance hourly rate by more than half. So, yeah, you see how much of a lousy freelancer I am, which puts me off any attempts to do it full-time. I'm too soft. I'm taken advantage of. I'll never make enough money to be independent - at least not in the next half decade, given the well-intentioned, but ultimately always fruitless promises of work from at least a dozen people - and right now I feel like there's a very good chance I'll be enduring the humiliation of still living at home when I'm 30.

I feel just really down and disillusioned with my life right now.

Blogging will resume here tomorrow as usual.

Comments

Michael said…
I may have missed this answer somewhere, but have you tried going the entrepreneur route? Turn this wonderful hobby of blogging - that you seem rather excellent at doing - into a money making venture.

Move off Blogger onto your own domain, add advertising (more specific than what you have now) and maybe a small subscription fee for added content/reviews/details.

I have not thought out all the details (obviously) - and it may not be the solution you need, but with the time you have on hand is it not a possibility for you to review?

Rather than wait for the job (or settle for the bad) make your own path.
Al said…
There's nothing "soft" about doing what you're good at and doing it well.

Don't give up on the other job just yet... After two interviews with you I'd suggest they may just be completing interviews with other candidates as a matter of form. Good luck.
MJenks said…
I feel your pain with the disillusionment. I think it kind of boiled to a head yesterday at my blog.
Cleric said…
Beggars can't be choosers. Sometimes when it's rough, you have to settle for that witch you can get. That one company you said liked you but can't afford you, maybe you should lower the price a bit to get it, then at least you'll have a job you are looking for.

I'm thankful I have a job, and I earn less that half of what the average Graphic Designers these days make a month. But I keep my chin up and pay my dues. It's not always easy to get the job you want with the pay you want or need, but you have to take what you can get.
Suresh Jayan said…
I know the path of a freelancer is not smooth.Guess thats the price you pay for your independence.
It is heart breaking to see you going through such a tough time.
Dont lose heart, keep trying I'm sure there are many more companies (with deeper pockets) offering interesting careers.
Surely things will change for the better because you know you are good at what you do.

About being soft, I would call that a learning experience. You certainly wont let that happen again.There is nothing lousy about your work (From what I read).
Life is full of surprises, you might come across something more exciting than what you were trying for.

"The night is darkest just before the dawn"
-The Dark Knight-
Brandon said…
So for the first job, did you give them a salary requirement and it was out of their range? Or do they just have no budget, period, to hire anyone at all? If the former it may be worth a shot to lower your salary request, even if it means you'll keep looking for work while employed there. Some job is better than no job, right?

In the vein of what Michael said, it is possible to live off your blog (see http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ for an example) but pretty rare. Might help bring in some money while you are job hunting though.

I know so many people who can't find jobs and are therefore going back to school, even for degrees they really don't need. But at least it defers their cost of living until the economy turns around. I guess that's pretty gloomy, but my point is you're not alone in this.
Unknown said…
Try and use http://www.elance.com/
It might help you get some freelance jobs and you can charge $$
Pfangirl said…
Michael, I would love to run this blog full-time but I don't believe I currently have the readership to make it profitable (in a good month I make $8/R60!). Writing professionally for blogs doesn't seem to pay enough to sustain financial independence at the moment. And I'm no real position to be nearing 30 and living at home while I try to start up a business which will likely take years before it generates enough of a salary for me to live off.

Al, MJenks, Suresh, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Brandon, my understanding of the company is that they want a middle/senior person with experience but are unwilling to pay more than a starting salary. They are very tight-fisted. That's why they've yet to find anyone for the job. It's true that a low paying job is better than no job, but with rent and insurance costs (it's too far to commute) I'd be struggling to survive.

Mark, thanks for the suggestion.

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