Planet Terror

Let me say up front that I won’t be held responsible if this review encourages you to watch Planet Terror and you absolutely despise it. The film is very much a cinematic curiosity destined for cult status. In other words it’s likely to be an acquired taste.

To put Planet Terror in context, it initially formed part of Grindhouse, an unusual two-film feature which consisted of two full length horror-thrillers (written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez), placed back to back, complete with fake trailers slotted between them. Unfortunately, Grindhouse fared so badly at the American box office that it was split apart into two films to be released separately in international cinemas. Planet Terror is Robert Rodriguez’s segment.

In terms of Robert Rodriguez’s previous work, Planet Terror is more in line with Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn than Sin City. It’s very gory, very over-the-top and very silly. But all deliberately so.

Planet Terror is essentially a zombie movie. The plot, what little there is, is pretty standard stuff: a disparate group of survivors in a small Texas town has to fight for their lives after a mysterious gas is released at a nearby military base, transforming the locals into bloodthirsty, gangrenous psychopaths.

Cue nonsensical, bloody chaos – cars blow up for no reason, every second female character is a lesbian, there’s an attempted rape scene involving melting monster testicles, and, of course, if you’ve seen any marketing material for Planet Terror, you’ll know the heroine, a go-go dancer called Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), has an assault rifle for a prosthetic leg.


It’s like paying to watch one of those crappy, low budget action-horror flicks that SABC1 loves to show late on weekends. The novelty is that Planet Terror mixes B-grade movie icons like Michael Biehn and Jeff Fahey with bigger names like Bruce Willis, Lost’s Naveen Andrews and Josh Brolin, all of whom are playing their roles with complete seriousness.

A lot of fun also stems from the way Rodriguez plays with trash cinema conventions. The film stock has been deliberately distorted to look low quality, with lots of scratches, colour flares and jumpiness. At one point it even blisters and melts completely. The film restarts, apologises for a missing reel, and carries on oblivious of the massive hole in the storyline.

Not that storyline matters in these types of films. Or characters for that matter. You pretty much have to disregard your normal cinema expectations and just go along for the ride.

In the end Planet Terror is a helluva lot of fun, and crammed with cheap thrills, but it’s such a good homage to exploitation movies that it’s actually ultimately as forgettable as its source material.

In all honesty if you’re still apprehensive about paying full price to see Planet Terror on the big screen, perhaps wait for the DVD release. Invite some friends over, bring out the booze and have a blast. However, if your apprehension is overpowered by a burning desire to see songstress Fergie with her brains scooped out, it’s worth your time to head to the cinema and catch Planet Terror now.