Ghost Rider
Let’s get some things straight right now. Ghost Rider is not Constantine. Hell, it’s not even Spawn. Despite dealing with a motorcycle daredevil, Johnny Blaze (a moping Nicholas Cage), who sells his soul to the Devil and becomes Satan’s flaming-skulled bounty hunter, the film manages to strip out any potentially interesting occult themes. So don’t expect any disturbing exorcism scenes, angels in business suits or corrupt priests literally drowning themselves in alcohol.
What passes for ‘darkness’ and embodied evil are a group of pasty faced men, walking around in black trench coats with sharp teeth and permanent smirks on their faces. Apart from exploding light bulbs and killing people with their index finger, they apparently completely lack demonic power (they don’t raise an army of undead, or even summon criminals to them). You know things are supposed to be hardcore because a lot of characters wear studded leather and bandanas and the soundtrack is predominantly nu-metal. Meanwhile, the ‘hero’ is an uber popular, living stunt legend despite being a slacker who would rather sit around watching TV and eating jelly beans out of a martini glass.
You see Ghost Rider has been made for 10 year olds. And it is by far the weakest Marvel comic book adaptation brought to the screen. Right down there with Elektra. Even the so-so Punisher was better, and that’s because the actors (including John Travolta, surprisingly) played their roles straight. There were no ‘wink wink, I’m in a comic book movie’ moments, as there are in Ghost Rider.
It doesn’t help that Ghost Rider is incapable of demonstrating a single new idea. Just as in Daredevil, Johnny Blaze turns to crime/evil fighting because of his father’s death. Just as in Elektra, Wes Bentley’s Blackheart villain surrounds himself with a posse of surprisingly useless henchmen. Just as in The Punisher, Eva Mendes assumes Rebecca Romijn’s role – i.e. she has nothing to do but stand around showing cleavage. And just as in Blade, the hero has to combat a supposedly indestructible, reassembling opponent.
Frankly, I was bored for much of the movie. There are about 4 ‘cool’ moments in the film but you have to sit through plenty of numbskull rubbish to get to them. One moment, in fact, makes you wish the film had attempted something entirely different, and focused on a very different Rider…
In the film’s favour, the special effects are excellent, and the Ghost Rider transformation is impressive. But after waiting what feels like forever for Cage to transform, his character has a horribly cheesy, computer-filtered deep voice (like the film’s villains when they’re at their most evil). When Ghost Rider speaks, all you want is for him to turn back into Nicholas Cage so he’ll shut up.
As for the plot, the one character who can explain why exactly a Scroll of Damned Souls is so important, is onscreen for approximately 10 minutes. No one thinks to stop for a minute and listen to the Caretaker (a typically incomprehensible Sam Elliott). And when the Scroll is activated, the audience still doesn’t care because it hardly helps its owner, despite supposedly being a symbol of the Apocalypse.
Paul and I walked out of the movie, shaking our heads and debating such deep philosophical questions as ’How do you put petrol in a bike that’s on fire?’ and ‘If you have a burning horse, does it produce a flaming pile of shit?’ Much like Ghost Rider.
What passes for ‘darkness’ and embodied evil are a group of pasty faced men, walking around in black trench coats with sharp teeth and permanent smirks on their faces. Apart from exploding light bulbs and killing people with their index finger, they apparently completely lack demonic power (they don’t raise an army of undead, or even summon criminals to them). You know things are supposed to be hardcore because a lot of characters wear studded leather and bandanas and the soundtrack is predominantly nu-metal. Meanwhile, the ‘hero’ is an uber popular, living stunt legend despite being a slacker who would rather sit around watching TV and eating jelly beans out of a martini glass.
You see Ghost Rider has been made for 10 year olds. And it is by far the weakest Marvel comic book adaptation brought to the screen. Right down there with Elektra. Even the so-so Punisher was better, and that’s because the actors (including John Travolta, surprisingly) played their roles straight. There were no ‘wink wink, I’m in a comic book movie’ moments, as there are in Ghost Rider.
It doesn’t help that Ghost Rider is incapable of demonstrating a single new idea. Just as in Daredevil, Johnny Blaze turns to crime/evil fighting because of his father’s death. Just as in Elektra, Wes Bentley’s Blackheart villain surrounds himself with a posse of surprisingly useless henchmen. Just as in The Punisher, Eva Mendes assumes Rebecca Romijn’s role – i.e. she has nothing to do but stand around showing cleavage. And just as in Blade, the hero has to combat a supposedly indestructible, reassembling opponent.
Frankly, I was bored for much of the movie. There are about 4 ‘cool’ moments in the film but you have to sit through plenty of numbskull rubbish to get to them. One moment, in fact, makes you wish the film had attempted something entirely different, and focused on a very different Rider…
In the film’s favour, the special effects are excellent, and the Ghost Rider transformation is impressive. But after waiting what feels like forever for Cage to transform, his character has a horribly cheesy, computer-filtered deep voice (like the film’s villains when they’re at their most evil). When Ghost Rider speaks, all you want is for him to turn back into Nicholas Cage so he’ll shut up.
As for the plot, the one character who can explain why exactly a Scroll of Damned Souls is so important, is onscreen for approximately 10 minutes. No one thinks to stop for a minute and listen to the Caretaker (a typically incomprehensible Sam Elliott). And when the Scroll is activated, the audience still doesn’t care because it hardly helps its owner, despite supposedly being a symbol of the Apocalypse.
Paul and I walked out of the movie, shaking our heads and debating such deep philosophical questions as ’How do you put petrol in a bike that’s on fire?’ and ‘If you have a burning horse, does it produce a flaming pile of shit?’ Much like Ghost Rider.
Comments