Thelma and Louise of the High Seas

The following post forms part of the Action Heroine Blog-A-Thon, o so cleverly devised by Nat at The Film Experience.

Alright, this isn’t so much an examination of a great action heroine as it is a look at a great project that could have been.

Back in the early 1990s, “girl power” was the buzz word in Hollywood. Sarah Conner was bulking up to fight Terminators. Catherine Tramell was dragging police detectives around by their tongues – and other appendages. Thelma and Louise were exploding fuel tankers. And Catwoman was giving the Caped Crusader a licking.

It was only natural to start digging for other properties that were equal parts oestrogen and ass-kicking. And from the murky depths emerged Mistress of the Seas, over a decade before Davy Jones and his mutant crew popped up from beneath the waves of the Caribbean.

Mistress of the Seas was to be based on the surprising true story of 2 famous female pirates in the 18th Century: Anne Bonney and Mary Read.

After setting fire to her wealthy father’s estate, pretty, quick-tempered Bonney began mingling with pirates at seedy taverns before eventually eloping with pirate captain, John "Calico Jack" Rackham. Respected by her fellow pirates for her combat skill, Bonney and Calico Jack spent several successful years capturing ships and pillaging treasure.

In one of their raids, Mary Read, disguised as a man, joined Calico Jack’s crew. Cross-dressing was nothing new for Read, who spent most of her life serving in the British military as a man, and had returned to the high seas after the untimely death of her husband.

After accidentally discovering Read’s true sex, Bonney and Read became good friends – even lovers in some accounts. Together, they were the only crew members sober and brave enough to fight back against a ship of government troops sent to capture them.

With dynamic female characters, plenty of swashbuckling and a dramatic 300-esque final battle, Mistress of the Seas was a hot property. It was set to be directed by Paul Verhoeven and produced by Jon Peters. In terms of casting, first choice to fill the roles of Anne and Mary were Michelle Pfeiffer and Geena Davis, both at the peak of their audience appeal.


The problem was that Davis was already flirting with another pirate project, and Pfeiffer’s meetings with Verhoeven were not promising, given the actress’s squeamish stance on nudity. “I had two meetings with Paul Verhoeven. I met with him on two separate projects, and both conversations were about how much skin I would show.”

Pfeiffer’s passing on the project was especially disappointing, since at the time she was apparently looking for an action heroine role – but one where her character escaped the “motherly” task of rescuing a child.

With no leading ladies, and Verhoeven moving onto his Razzie “masterpiece” Showgirls, Mistress of the Seas sank back down into development purgatory.

Michelle Pfeiffer, now in her late 40s, never got her "proper" action heroine role (Catwoman was more anti-heroine), preferring instead to dabble in her usual career mix of family drama and quirky comedy. After a 6 year acting hiatus, she’s back onscreen, apparently cornering the market in stunning-if-treacherous-female-villains.

Statuesque Geena Davis, meanwhile, was always guaranteed to play at least one action heroine during the course of her career. She got to wear heavy eyeliner, throw knives and rescue a child in The Long Kiss Goodnight. She also got to headline her own pirate film, with then husband Renny Harlin directing. Plagued by problems in development, Cutthroat Island bombed at the box office. It promptly entered the Guinness Book of Records as the biggest box office flop of all time.

Everywhere, studio executives quaked at the thought of the pirate movie curse until, ironically, it took another curse, The Curse of the Black Pearl, to resurrect the genre. On board, as the sole female representative was Keira Knightley, struggling with corsets and undead pirates as tomboy-ish Elizabeth Swann.

Now, in the wake of Pirates’ success, you have to wonder if it isn’t again time for Mistress of the Seas to set sail for our screens, with a new cast and new director aboard.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Noelle, I was really impressed you dug through your Premiere Magazines from the '90s and could devote an entire post to Mistress of the Seas.

I wrote about Cutthroat Island a few months ago, and from what I dug up, Geena Davis wanted to play either Bonney or Read in this movie, but the project fell apart when Verhoeven and the knuckleheads at Sony couldn't get along.

Mistress of the Seas still had enough heat for Mario Kassar to attach Davis to his pirate flick, which Davis signed on for with the understanding that she would be playing opposite Michael Douglas. He dropped out and Davis was stuck having to carry a mega-budget action flick by herself. You can plainly see how reticent she was about this if you watch the movie, which is one of the worst ever made.

If you got a hold of the script for Mistress of the Seas, let me know how. I'd love to read it.

Great pick for the Action Heroine blog-a-thon!
Pfangirl said…
Hey Joe

Thanks for the comments. I was looking at writing about something a little "different" for this blog-a-thon, and then I remembered Mistress of the Seas.

It always sounded like such an interesting women-fronted project and I thought it deserved a mention before it sunk from film memory forever.

And unfortunately no, I don't have a copy of the script - a pity, because I'd love to read it too :)
NATHANIEL R said…
i always have trouble picturing Pfeiffer in pirate gear for some reason...

but at least she sorta made it there with Sinbad
Anonymous said…
Very interesting stuff that I'd either forgotten or didn't know.

It's interesting to imagine how this would have turned out. If you've seen "Black Book" you know that Verhoeven can be extremely sadistic to his action heroines -- and the stuff about nudity sure rings true. If I'm not mistaken, Carice Van Houten's breasts shared third billing.
VW said…
Now that's a film I'd like to see. Interesting post. Sorry for so late a comment - still wading through the blogathon list.

BTW - mine was on Thelma & Louise - funny coincidence!
Anonymous said…
There was actually a THIRD "Lady pirate" project in development at that time--it was called something like "Anne Of The Spanish Main". It's mentioned in the book about infamous box officers disasters, "FIASCO"--which devotes an entire, fascinating chapter to "Cutthroat Island".

Which, really, all things considered, is not a truly bad film. It probably was the lamest of the three projects to start with, and could have been much better, but it's actually a pretty good, dumb-fun blockbuster type flick. Harlan directed the hell out it, that's for sure.

And yeah, I hope Mistress Of The Seas sets sail again!

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