Trailer Tuesday: Piranha 3-D

After the Clash Of the Titans 3D debacle, I vowed to only watch 3D films that have been specifically made for the format. No more wasting money on shoddy, cheap conversions from traditional 2D purely so that film studios can squeeze a few more bucks out of viewers.

This said, with my "only original 3D" rule in place, I'm still entitled to watch horror remake Piranha 3-D. Based on a cheesy 1978 Jaws rip-off (that was followed by the truly atrocious Piranha II: The Spawning), Piranha 3-D looks to be a delicious B-grade treat that embraces its ridiculousness. Take the film's premise for example:

Each Spring Break, the population of Lake Victoria, Arizona swells from 5,000 to 50,000 as young people flood the town to celebrate, but this year, there is something more to worry about than hangovers and complaints from local old timers. A new type of terror is about to be cut loose on beautiful Lake Victoria, itself the caldera of an ancient volcano.

When earth tremors tear open a crack in the lake floor, all hell breaks through... in the form of a razor-toothed species of prehistoric piranha intent on hunting down anything that moves and stripping it to the raw, bleeding bone.

Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) is seriously outnumbered, and with only one chance to save the lake and her family from becoming fish food, she - and an unlikely band of strangers - must risk everything to destroy the deadly aquatic carnivores.

Piranha 3-D certainly isn't the only horror movie remake set for release in 2010 - A Nightmare on Elm Street is out already in the States - but it does seem to be the new genre entry with the greatest sense of humour. Cheekily including the descriptor "Jaws... Lots and lots of jaws" in press releases, Piranha 3-D is being described by its director Alexandre (Mirrors, P2, The Hills Have Eyes 2006) Aja as a fun homage to "creature" horror films. I know I certainly get a strong Jaws and Rogue vibe from the film's trailer.

Piranha 3-D also features a surprisingly good cast, even if many of the actors and actresses seemed to have been dragged out of "Where are they now?" land. Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames topline, but Jerry O'Connell, Back to the Future's Christopher Lloyd and even Jaws star Richard Dreyfuss also all appear. Hostel director and Inglourious Basterds' "Bear Jew" Eli Roth even pops up for good measure. Piranha 3-D is certainly an in-joke and reference-rich film.

Chances are though that audiences won't be going to see Piranha 3-D for its cast. People will be in cinemas to see drunk, horny and highly obnoxious college students get their comeuppance in very gory ways. And of course all of this will be captured in glorious, gimmicky 3D. So brace yourself for fish jumping straight at the camera and luscious bouncing titties in multiple dimensions. You just know that if Snakes on a Plane was coming out this year as opposed to 2006 it would be in 3D.

Piranha 3-D is set for release in the United States on 27 August. South African audiences will be able to revel in the bloody B-grade carnage from 12 November.


Dante said…
more titties! your readership demands it!
Nick Leshi said…
3D still doesn't impress me. Maybe someday.

-- Nick from City of Kik
Pfangirl said…
Dante, I'm working on it ;)

Nick, thanks for commenting. Yeah, I have a very mixed relationship with 3D as well, mostly because I tend to stop noticing it after 5 minutes.

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