Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen reviewed

The best way to describe Transformers sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is that it’s a film designed solely for hormonal 12 year old boys with ADHD. It’s big, it’s dumb, it features long, lingering shots of pouty lipped sexpots and it makes very little sense.


What plot there is in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen centres on the continued battle between the human-allied Autobots and the evil Decepticons. Having had the bolts and screws kicked out of them on innumerable occasions the Decepticons have a plan to sway the fight in their favour – they want to resurrect their leader Megatron and bring a powerful ancient Transformer, the Fallen, back to Earth. To do that, the Decepticons need information possessed only by Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), the young human hero from the first film.

One of my major complaints about the first Transformers was that the film spent too much time focusing on the boring humans and didn’t bother to develop the Transformers as “real” characters with distinct personalities. It’s hard to believe but the situation is even worse in Revenge of the Fallen.

The audience is subjected to several pointless, supposedly humorous, sequences about Sam departing for college, where he meets other pointless human characters. As for the Transformers, there are literally 2 scenes in which they interact amongst themselves. The first is an exchange copied straight from Star Wars, in which the heavy breathing Fallen, sitting on his spacecraft’s throne, instructs his “apprentice” Megatron to be patient. The second involves the Autobots, curiously grief-free, discussing the death of one of their companions. For about 15 seconds.

With the exception of a geriatric Transformer, 2 dopey Autobots and a tiny Decepticon modelled on a remote control car, most of the Transformers – whether they appeared in the first film, or are new additions to the robot cast – aren’t even named. Perhaps if you are familiar with the cartoon series, or any other spinoff media, you will be able to identify them but I often struggled to work out who the heroes and villains were, let alone determine their unique special abilities. Mostly I had to rely on the knowledge that the Decepticons always have cooler alternate forms than the Autobots.


Speaking of alternate forms, the major draw factor of Transformers: Revenge of the fallen remains its stunningly intricate character designs. Ravage, the stealthy feline Decepticon is my personal favourite. However, I did find many of these transformations and related battles to be visually overwhelming and difficult to follow on the giant IMAX screen. These scenes probably fare better on conventionally sized cinema screens.

In terms of performances, Shia LaBeouf throws himself into the nonsense with admirable commitment, and is likeable enough. I don’t remember Megan Fox being a noticeably bad actress in the first film but she certainly is here as Sam’s girlfriend Mikaela. And in the hotness stakes she is resoundingly beaten by Isabel Lucas, who plays Alice, one of Sam’s sultry fellow classmates.

My chief gripe with Revenge of the Fallen, however, is that large portions of the film are completely nonsensical. Forget for a moment that plot points are frequently prioritised and then promptly forgotten. The film suffers from a general lack of logic. Without giving too much away, this includes things like the fact that the elite military squad working with the Autobots still carry conventional assault rifles instead of grenade launchers, or other high calibre hardware, that could actually damage giant Decepticons. Starscream, despite being the only flying Transformer, never uses this unique ability to his advantage. He’s always landing to fight. Decepticons who look like humans seem far more useful than cement mixers yet there is only one of them. And finally, every time the Decepticons bring the smack down, the Autobots sit in useless car form, leaving the humans to fend for themselves, or, worse, they aren’t even there.


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is also oddly unbalanced in terms of tone. When things aren’t exploding for no apparent reason, the audience is subjected to horribly unfunny juvenile humour – humping dogs, jokes about cherry popping, and a little medical robot who sounds like a mad German scientist. But then again, perhaps I’m just being curmudgeonly, and forgetting that I’m not Transformers’ target audience.

What I can’t forget though is that director Michaal Bay has made the same mistake with Revenge of the Fallen as he did with Pearl Harbor. Action sequences that run for over 45 minutes quickly lose their tautness and coolness factor. Transformers’ “epic” finale is more boring than anything else.

Ultimately the only thing that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen transforms into is a train wreck. However, the film is one of those rare things – a movie so bad that that’s actually entertaining in its stupidity. And unlike Terminator: Salvation which adopted an over-serious approach, Revenge of the Fallen knowingly revels in its ridiculousness.