The Expendables reviewed
The Expendables was clearly intended to be the ultimate action movie, bringing together some of the greatest film genre icons, Mixed Martial Arts champions and WWE stars of the past three decades: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Steve Austin and Gary Daniels. They’re joined by Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts who add their slick machismo to proceedings, and even Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger pop up for good measure.
The thing is, despite being stuffed with living legends, The Expendables just doesn’t deliver on its promise of old school, over-the-top action. Although the film certainly has its exhilarating moments, just as often the audience is left feeling bored – which is frankly criminal given the talent involved. Most disappointing of all, the film isn’t nearly as much mindless, desensitised fun as it should have been.
Co-written and directed by Stallone, The Expendables feels a great deal like 2008’s Rambo IV. Your response towards that gruesome film will definitely determine how much you enjoy The Expendables, because the two movies share many of the same qualities.
In both cases, Stallone’s cynical warrior accepts a mission for money within a military dictatorship, only to find his heart woken by a principled, passionate heroine trying to defy the evil authorities and help the oppressed local population. When said heroine is captured by the military, Stallone exacts VERY brutal vengeance in the course of rescuing her. Of course, The Expendables is a film about a loyal band of mercenaries, so our hero isn’t alone on his quest.
The thing is, as with Rambo, your ability to enjoy the violence is tempered by Stallone’s insistence on including real-life war atrocities, depicted in graphic detail. So in The Expendables there’s illegal detention and execution, and even waterboarding. As a result, the audience feels uncomfortable enjoying themselves while such atrocities take place onscreen.
It also doesn’t help that frequently the heroes in The Expendables are more frightening than likeable figures you can rally behind. When bloodlust sets in, they transform into mean-spirited monsters. Statham’s character, a blades specialist, is especially terrifying when he has a knife in hand. More worrying – and damaging to audience sympathy – though is a scene where two of the Expendables whomp on a single villain who neither towers over them nor demonstrates superior fighting skills. Perhaps nostalgia is blinding me in regards to 80s action films but I don’t remember any heroes indulging in such unsporting behaviour.
The Expendables is not without its positives of course. The action scenes, when they aren’t over-edited to the point of incomprehension, are rousing – if cringe-worthy in their goriness. There are also some nice little nods to fan fantasises such as MMA star Randy Couture grappling with the WWE’s “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.
The highlight of the film however is, of course, the all too brief meeting between Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger (as a rival mercenary) and Bruce Willis (playing an arrogant CIA agent). This scene is pretty much worth the price of admission alone. The characters’ jibes function on multiple levels, and are more amusing the more you know about the actors’ filmographies and off-screen relationships. This get-together is the most entertaining scene in a film that is otherwise too serious, despite its various strained attempts at humour.
As a side note, you actually have to wonder what The Expendables would have been like if Schwarzenegger’s rival band of “cerebral” mercenaries had embarked on the mission instead of Stallone’s men. The reality is that The Expendables is all about celebrating big dumb muscle instead of intellect. Tattoos, motorcycles, and physically defending women against domestic violence – that’s what it is to truly be a man in the Expendables universe.
As for the Expendables team itself, some of the big name actors come off better than others. As expected, with such a crammed cast some of the performers are wasted, and there is very little in the way of character development, or even introduction. This is especially true of Couture and Terry Crews, although the latter – with a mad Samuel L. Jackson-like glint in his eyes – is probably the most gleefully unhinged cast member. Crews’ character is also the only one who gets to spout anything approaching a classic 80s action movie one-liner.
Statham adopts his usual “likeable stoic” movie persona while Stallone rambles around all bulky, veined leather. Although, to be fair, he does at least look more convincing here than in Rambo IV. Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren also both fare well, mostly because their characters actually have emotions to express and roles to play in advancing the plot.
Jet Li on the other hand easily comes off as the worst Expendable. Instead of a lithe, impossibly quick master of hand-to-hand combat, his character is an obnoxious Chinese midget obsessed with money. His dialogue is entirely to do with his Short Man complex and insistence that he deserves a raise.
Presumably Li’s character is an attempt at self-deprecation, but the joke falls flat. The same goes for the macho teasing dialogue that is supposed to establish the sense of camaraderie within the group. And with typically every hero included in these scenes, the camera cuts between the characters are so frantic that they could trigger epileptic seizures.
Combined with some other strange miscalculations, like a tedious bomb-planting sequence that’s apparently 10 minutes long, and the end result is that The Expendables feels “off.” The film seems more like a weak imitation 80s action flick than the real thing. This is especially sad when you consider that of all filmmakers, Sylvester Stallone should be especially familiar with the old genre formulas. As it stands, if you want to watch badass military men assaulting an island and slaughtering dozens of minions, you’re still better off popping Commando in the DVD player. The lesson ultimately taught by The Expendables is that squeezing as many superstars as possible into a movie doesn’t necessarily make it good.
The thing is, despite being stuffed with living legends, The Expendables just doesn’t deliver on its promise of old school, over-the-top action. Although the film certainly has its exhilarating moments, just as often the audience is left feeling bored – which is frankly criminal given the talent involved. Most disappointing of all, the film isn’t nearly as much mindless, desensitised fun as it should have been.
Co-written and directed by Stallone, The Expendables feels a great deal like 2008’s Rambo IV. Your response towards that gruesome film will definitely determine how much you enjoy The Expendables, because the two movies share many of the same qualities.
In both cases, Stallone’s cynical warrior accepts a mission for money within a military dictatorship, only to find his heart woken by a principled, passionate heroine trying to defy the evil authorities and help the oppressed local population. When said heroine is captured by the military, Stallone exacts VERY brutal vengeance in the course of rescuing her. Of course, The Expendables is a film about a loyal band of mercenaries, so our hero isn’t alone on his quest.
The thing is, as with Rambo, your ability to enjoy the violence is tempered by Stallone’s insistence on including real-life war atrocities, depicted in graphic detail. So in The Expendables there’s illegal detention and execution, and even waterboarding. As a result, the audience feels uncomfortable enjoying themselves while such atrocities take place onscreen.
It also doesn’t help that frequently the heroes in The Expendables are more frightening than likeable figures you can rally behind. When bloodlust sets in, they transform into mean-spirited monsters. Statham’s character, a blades specialist, is especially terrifying when he has a knife in hand. More worrying – and damaging to audience sympathy – though is a scene where two of the Expendables whomp on a single villain who neither towers over them nor demonstrates superior fighting skills. Perhaps nostalgia is blinding me in regards to 80s action films but I don’t remember any heroes indulging in such unsporting behaviour.
The Expendables is not without its positives of course. The action scenes, when they aren’t over-edited to the point of incomprehension, are rousing – if cringe-worthy in their goriness. There are also some nice little nods to fan fantasises such as MMA star Randy Couture grappling with the WWE’s “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.
The highlight of the film however is, of course, the all too brief meeting between Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger (as a rival mercenary) and Bruce Willis (playing an arrogant CIA agent). This scene is pretty much worth the price of admission alone. The characters’ jibes function on multiple levels, and are more amusing the more you know about the actors’ filmographies and off-screen relationships. This get-together is the most entertaining scene in a film that is otherwise too serious, despite its various strained attempts at humour.
As a side note, you actually have to wonder what The Expendables would have been like if Schwarzenegger’s rival band of “cerebral” mercenaries had embarked on the mission instead of Stallone’s men. The reality is that The Expendables is all about celebrating big dumb muscle instead of intellect. Tattoos, motorcycles, and physically defending women against domestic violence – that’s what it is to truly be a man in the Expendables universe.
As for the Expendables team itself, some of the big name actors come off better than others. As expected, with such a crammed cast some of the performers are wasted, and there is very little in the way of character development, or even introduction. This is especially true of Couture and Terry Crews, although the latter – with a mad Samuel L. Jackson-like glint in his eyes – is probably the most gleefully unhinged cast member. Crews’ character is also the only one who gets to spout anything approaching a classic 80s action movie one-liner.
Statham adopts his usual “likeable stoic” movie persona while Stallone rambles around all bulky, veined leather. Although, to be fair, he does at least look more convincing here than in Rambo IV. Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren also both fare well, mostly because their characters actually have emotions to express and roles to play in advancing the plot.
Jet Li on the other hand easily comes off as the worst Expendable. Instead of a lithe, impossibly quick master of hand-to-hand combat, his character is an obnoxious Chinese midget obsessed with money. His dialogue is entirely to do with his Short Man complex and insistence that he deserves a raise.
Presumably Li’s character is an attempt at self-deprecation, but the joke falls flat. The same goes for the macho teasing dialogue that is supposed to establish the sense of camaraderie within the group. And with typically every hero included in these scenes, the camera cuts between the characters are so frantic that they could trigger epileptic seizures.
Combined with some other strange miscalculations, like a tedious bomb-planting sequence that’s apparently 10 minutes long, and the end result is that The Expendables feels “off.” The film seems more like a weak imitation 80s action flick than the real thing. This is especially sad when you consider that of all filmmakers, Sylvester Stallone should be especially familiar with the old genre formulas. As it stands, if you want to watch badass military men assaulting an island and slaughtering dozens of minions, you’re still better off popping Commando in the DVD player. The lesson ultimately taught by The Expendables is that squeezing as many superstars as possible into a movie doesn’t necessarily make it good.
Comments
Just a couple of things I have to say about the movie.(Even though I said that all I have to say is that one thing. I lied :P)
Jet Li shouldn't have dialogue... ever. The guy just sounds weird. He must just act with his mouth closed and kick ass.
About the knife throwing thing, my gf at one point went "Stop throwing people in the necks" which I found funny so I am sharing.
Mickey Rourke is brilliant in this as he is in every movie I have seen him in. Why is he not a bigger star? The guy is brilliant.
Same goes for Eric Roberts. So much wasted potential there.
And Sly Stallone should stop taking his shirt off. The whole, I am fifty and ripped thing doesn't suite him. Look at Arny, he doesn't take his shirt of anymore. Cause he knows gravity isn't good for flabby muscles.
While I didn't feel uncomfortable by the torture thing (oh dear, I'm looking terrible already), even without that it was just...meh, alright.
And it needed more Dolph. Not enough Dolph.
There are some things I do agree on, the lack of talent with so many stars in one film, I would have expected better over all from them all, but did it achieve it's over-the-top action packed, explosive, gory, old school goals? I think so. It's not the best movie ever made, but it did deliver explosive action, and hard core dudes delivering it. That is old school.
Despite it's lame story, it was enjoyable to see cool combat, a kamikaze-like strafe run, massive explosions, and the awesome walking flack-cannon (auto-shotgun) to name a few :)