G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra reviewed

There’s no question about it. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a big, dumb, midyear blockbuster. This was to be expected. What wasn’t expected however was just how well the film succeeds in its most crucial area. It truly feels like a cheesy Saturday morning ‘80s cartoon brought to life. So kudos to director Stephen Sommers, who previously helmed the action-packed, goofy Mummy and Van Helsing movies.

Clearly intended to kick off a new film franchise, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is essentially an origins story, explaining how some of the more famous Joes from the animated series (and Hasbro toy line), Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) come to join the elite international fighting force – that has already recruited fan favourites Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Snake Eyes (Ray Park), Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) and Breaker (Saïd Taghmaoui), each of whom have their own unique skill set to contribute to the G.I. Joe cause. The film also explains how the leaders of the evil terrorist organisation Cobra come to assume the forms they do.


Curiously G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra follows almost the exact same plot as Team America: World Police, in which the heroes must attempt to stop Cobra as they embark on a grand scheme to spread chaos and topple governments in their bid to establish a new world order. Naturally major world landmarks are targeted and naturally the Joes’ efforts to stop Cobra cause massive amounts of urban destruction.

Much of the fun in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra comes from the fact that both G.I. Joe and Cobra utilise military and espionage technology so advanced it would make James Bond’s mouth water. Set in the very near future, the film showcases inventions that today, in our reality, are still in the early stages of their development – including performance enhancing military exo-suits, cloaking outfits, highly manoeuvrable super stealth aircraft and nanobot technology. These inventions play a central role during several highly entertaining action scenes in G.I. Joe, which are sure to send young boys giddy with excitement.

Children of the ‘80s are also likely to go giddy – this time with nostalgia – while watching G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The film uses all the old cartoon contrasts and archetypes to full effect. For example, the Joes work out of a secret desert base in Egypt while Cobra run their operations out of an underwater city at the North Pole. The black ninja Snake Eyes always fights white ninja Storm Shadow. And girl-on-girl combat is a must, with Scarlett facing off against the Baroness (Sienna Miller).

In terms of performances everyone in the (predominantly young) cast seems game for anything – with Wayans’ wisecracking Ripcord providing most of the laughs as he attempts to woo Nichols’ Scarlett. The only actor who seems particularly stiff and uncomfortable is Dennis Quaid as G.I. Joe commander General Hawk.


The film also includes a handful of veterans from Stephen Sommers’ earlier films in cameo appearances, including Brendan Fraser. The Mummy himself, Arnold Vosloo – complete with South African accent – clearly has a lot of fun in his small role as Zartan, a Cobra assassin and master of disguise.

The only real downside of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is some jarringly mediocre CGI. Clearly the special effects in certain sequences were prioritised above others during the production schedule. Surprisingly it’s the CGI effects involving humans that are flawless, while some of the aircraft, land vehicles and even sand dunes look so fake they actually spoil the illusion of the world created by the filmmakers.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra also suffers from a tepid conclusion. After entertaining the audience for most of its runtime, particularly during the Paris chase sequence, the film definitely peters off in the last twenty minutes as too many endings are foisted on the viewer. It’s almost as if Sommers and the screenwriters lost confidence that a sequel was guaranteed – let’s not forget that the bombing of Van Helsing killed that potential franchise before it could develop. So instead of leaving any significant plot arcs unresolved or open ended in G.I. Joe, multiple loose ends are tied up so abruptly that they feel unsatisfying for the most part.

These gripes aside, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra still has enough positives on its side to make it worthwhile viewing for children of the ‘80s and anyone with young sons in the 8 to 12 age bracket. The film is a lot of mindless fun, and most importantly it’s a much more gratifying nostalgia experience than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.