Review of The Mystery Ghost Bus Tour – Durban

One of the chief negatives listed about Capricorns is that they are too cautious. The stubborn little seagoat is happy to sit in a rut and never take chances. It’s a characteristic I know I struggle with, but I’ve been trying hard lately to force myself out of my comfort zone – to overcome my anxiety, and try new things.

So, despite the cynicism and disinterest of many friends – which I largely put down to their own paralysing “No” Man Syndrome – I bought my ticket for Durban’s inaugural Mystery Ghost Bus Tour, which is no doubt intended to be an exciting new attraction for locals and tourists alike; helping them to experience the city in a new and spooky way.

For the record, The Mystery Ghost Bus Tour is bookable through Computicket, and has been running once or twice a month in Johannesburg, Pretoria, Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Grahamstown (during the annual Arts Festival) for several years now. After (apparently) 4 years of research it has finally reached the East Coast of South Africa.


Unfortunately, this attempt at trying new things on my part was a massive FAIL. The R295 ticket price was not worth it! This is not to say that Durban’s Mystery Ghost Bus Tour doesn’t have its creepy moments, and it certainly has potential, but there are a LOT of bugs to be ironed out before it becomes worth its full cost.

The way the No Under 18s tour works, as in the other South African cities, is that you meet at a pub starting point, are introduced to your guide, and at that point you all hop on a bus and travel around the city while the guide regales you with ghost sightings and history related to the various buildings – many of which are architecturally significant city icons – you drive past or stop at. At some points you leave the bus to visit these haunted sites on foot. At other points you disembark for a pub stop where you can buy refreshments and food (neither included in the tour price). Tours run for around 5 hours, starting at 7pm and ending at midnight.

Now there were several basic problems with the first Durban Mystery Ghost Bus Tour, and while some can easily be rectified, others are more difficult to fix. For example, running the tour on a Saturday night in Durban kills the required creepy atmosphere. Locals are in a party mood, roaming the streets, and at the pub stops (Edward Hotel, the Yacht Club, Beanbag Bohemia) the patrons are liquored up and jolly, typically watching an important sporting event on TV. Obviously things improve in the later hours of the evening, when town quietens down, but that means starting the tour later and therefore ending in the early hours of the morning – which I’m sure 80% of Durbanites will be unwilling to do. Also, I’m sure most of the drinking holes have closed by then.


Then there is the fact that most of the tour is done on the bus. Unfortunately Durban’s haunted sites are positioned across the city, which is a pity because the tour would be far more effective if it could be carried out on foot. Given that this is impossible to change, including more bus disembarkations in the current tour format would be better. Perhaps there are mugging risks at certain spots that the tour operators don’t want to worry about, but the reality is that when you stand in the shadow of an imposing building it is far more atmospheric than looking at it through tinted glass. Of course, this said, first prize would be to actually gain entry to the sites discussed so that you can examine the exact spot where the ghost was seen.

For the record, the best – in terms of being unnerving – sites, and related stories, on the tour are the horribly derelict Addington’s Children’s Hospital and 2 Victorian houses just off Stamford Hill Road. The urban legend of Highway Sheila is also enjoyably eerie to hear about.

I have to admit that I did also enjoy the introductory tour talk where our guide (Ghost Bus concept creator, and former illusionist, Mark Rose-Christie) discussed the paranormal in terms that mixed science – highly theoretical Quantum Physics to be exact – and New Age mysticism regarding the mind, body and personal energies. I was a bit disappointed though that this discussion did not really continue or deepen through the evening, and it completely excluded demons. After all, if you have ever had a passing interest in the occult – or have even just watched a ghost movie like Paranormal Activity – you will know there are huge differences between ghost, poltergeist and demon infestations. My point is that the tour could have been tonally a lot darker than it was, pushing the comfort levels of participants.


What really wrecked the inaugural Durban Mystery Ghost Bus Tour though was our disastrous dinner experience and the complications it caused. While it made sense for us to buy supper at our first pub stop, circa 8pm, we were given strict instructions not to do so because we’d be eating at the next place. Thank God our group disobeyed and bought a few packs of biltong because we ended up only eating around 11:45.

Our dinner stop was at Beanbag Bohemia, you see, which, although a "trendies" hangout, is notoriously incompetent when catering for large groups. We arrived there around 9:30, having already had to choose at least 45 minutes earlier on the bus – by raising our hands – whether we wanted a beef or vegetarian burger. For the record, Beanbag does much better food (the gourmet bunny chow for example) than hamburgers but we weren’t given any choice, and frankly I don’t know if the retirees on the tour with us would have picked fat beef patties as their late night meal of choice.

At Beanbag we sat and waited, and waited, and waited – eventually only getting our food about 90 minutes to 2 hours after we arrived. Then we all had to wait again in a queue as we paid our bills one at a time. So, yeah, our meal was handled about as professionally as the Mystery Ghost Bus Tour website.

I can understand why Beanbag Bohemia was chosen as our meal stop. It is within walking distance of 2 of the best haunted sites on the tour, and the building features appropriately vintage Victorian architecture. However, their utterly crap service left everyone disgruntled, and no matter how much we were promised that things would improve on future tours, that meant nothing to us – seeing as we would never do this again.


It didn’t require dowsing rods to tell that, post-dinner, everyone (oldies and 20somethings alike) was massively peeved. Still though, our less than psychically attuned guide couldn’t pick up on everyone’s black moods. Instead of fast tracking the tour, we continued on at a snail’s pace, touring the grounds of the Durban Light Infantry as if we were on a school history tour, as opposed to a ghost adventure… at 1am. As a result we only finished the tour, returning to the Edward Hotel on the beachfront, around 2:30am. Our 5 hour tour ended up having a running time closer to 8, so perhaps that’s how the organisers justify the R300 – according to time spent.

Anyway, it's hardly surprisingly but I can’t recommend Durban’s Mystery Ghost Bus Tour. I don’t know what the tour is like in South Africa’s other cities but on the East Coast it’s currently a dud. If a snack platter and welcome drink was included in the full price, I’d probably be a tad more accepting. Alternatively, a halved ticket price of R150 would help to sugar the pill. Just. However, regardless of all these what-ifs, there is no escaping my feeling that I could put together and run a better, scarier tour. And that's massively disappointing.

Comments

Pfangirl said…
Thank you for your honest comments, Team America. I can't disagree at all.

I've asked around and done some research and apparently people who have done the Ghost Bus Tour in other South African cities have tended to find it a lot of disappointing rubbish as well.
Anonymous said…
I did the tour 28 jan 2012... It was terrible. Complete waste of my sat night. The tour guide was boring, ill informed and childish...6 hours of boredom!!!
Merle Zulberg said…
we had the misfortune of wasting our hard earned money last night (Halloween) on this garbage! What a major rip off! We were taken to Fynnlands sports club on the Bluff for our "dinner" where they ran out of food and the venue was crap! The guide was boring and early on in the evening when he asked if we were having fun, the entire busload said no and that we wanted to go back to the Edward, his response was "Oh good - glad your'e enjoying yourselves" !!! WTF? I am just so angry - I hate being ripped off
Anonymous said…
jerrra man wish we had read this before we went, such a load of kak and ons is almal mal boet. How can Quiket let them get away with it and charge like 300 bucks for it. we need to warn others if you know of a way, as it sucks that we all get ripped off by kak like this. that shit should not be allowed to rob us like this. anyone know how we could warn mense before they part with their cash for this. we complained to quicket already
Unknown said…
May I ask that you go on any overseas ghost tour and see if they offer nearly as much as we do eg: meal & pub stops, EVP recordings, dowsing rods audience participation, entry into a dark haunted room, graves, dramatically studio recorded radio style stories, key bending, explanation of the science of the paranormal, explanation of the different types of ghosts, the scares & theatrics, and more. Of the 30,000 people who have taken our tours over 16 years, the tours would not be so successful if people didn't enjoy them. Only a small handful complain, yet they either did not read the website or they have another agenda (which becomes apparent in the harsh language used). Overseas you hear mostly about history, see the outside of buildings mostly, and little else is offered. Honestly, think of it, if our tours are so bad, why is it that all the media, without exception, give them rave revues, to date? As I say, please go on some overseas tours where you will then see how much more we offer by comparison. All the best, Mark Rose-Christie : Owner & Creator

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