The Coca-Cola Colab Concert

Given the drama of the Coca-Cola Colab Massive Mix concert in Pretoria (hours-long queues for toilets, drink and food shortages, malfunctioning screens and power), I’m happy to report that the Durban concert was problem free.



Just to be safe, Paul and I went into the Absa stadium at 11:30am with a litre of water smuggled in our backpack, and some sweets. Security didn’t even open the backpack. We could have brought in racks of ribs if we wanted.

Anyway, there were cooldrink vendors wandering the field and stands. Beer was readily available. A Cool Down misting tent was set up at the back of the field. Golden Circle was regularly sprayed with hosepipes, or the bands on stage splashed them with their water bottles.

Food may have been a bit of a problem towards the end of the evening, though with a little wandering we didn’t have any problems. The Sausage Factory stall right by us ran out of rolls, so all you could get were the sausages on their own. Later on though, I saw people eating hot dogs in a bun, so the shortage may only have been temporary. Or misinformation from the retards behind the counter.

I heard the Porta-potties got pretty disgusting but people in the stands could use the stadium toilets, which were in good condition, and queues were no longer than 3 minutes. Later on in the evening, the girls’ bathroom near me ran out of toilet paper. But that’s hardly end of the world stuff.

5FM presenters (all looking a tad plumpish these days) were out regularly reassuring the crowd that the Pretoria hassles would not happen in Durban.

Paul had brought his binoculars, and after a bit of searching, I was able to find a red cap and white T-shirt wearing Gareth and Denbeigh, as well as my sister and her boyfriend in Golden Circle. Ashley was apparently in the stand section next to us, but we didn’t see her. Neither could we find Kate.

Anyway, in terms of the bands, I was a bit disappointed that Durban didn’t have Fok Off Polisekar, Arno Carstens or Karen Zoid. I was keen to see all of them. Instead, we had some low level, very average rock bands, of which Seven Stone was the weakest. Umhlanga locals Sitter at least had good energy and State Far Better was surprisingly heavy. Spoonfeedas made absolutely no impression on me whatsoever, while it was mildly pleasant to see Squeal, from around 10 years back, still in existence.

The Finkelsteins have improved their live act (they still play it silly but don’t talk as much) and are just as polished as Prime Circle and Seether.

Of the internationals, Simple Plan was amazing and energetic - a concert highlight. They really involved the audience in their act, as did the very very impressive Collective Soul. CS are seasoned professionals, and I don’t think there was a single song of theirs that I didn’t know- just hit after hit after hit. You forget how good they actually are.

Next to the Parlotones who had the slot AFTER Metallica, and no doubt played to an empty stadium, The Rasmus had a pretty bum deal. Why invite a band over when only 1 of their songs has ever had any radio airtime? I didn’t know any of their tracks, despite looking forward to seeing them, so I ended up going to get drinks while they were performing.

Perhaps I’m a minority here, but I think beers should be rationed at concerts. No more than 3 a person, and you could mark them with a stamp. The Seether part of the concert was spoiled for us by a shithead in front of us who decided he would stand on his seat, putting himself at our standing eye level, and blocking our view and the view of the couple next to us. We asked him repeatedly to just stand in front of his seat like everyone else, but he kept saying ‘I paid for my seat. I can do what I want. Just stand on yours too.’ When we tried to explain the concept of consideration for the people behind us, he slurred something and eventually got down. But what a wanker. People can have a good time without booze.

Seether is excellent but I’ve always found their music to be a bit repetitive. Every song sounds the same. I had a similar problem with Metallica. While they are technically brilliant, and true showmen, I only know 2 or 3 of their songs. At one point I was starting to doze off.

So I made the decision to walk to the dance stage during their act, just after they finally played Nothing Really Matters. THEE BEST DECISION of the night! I wish I’d done it sooner. Fatboy Slim (AKA Norman Cook) was amazing. After hours and hours of rock, which was starting to blur into sameness (In a way I think the concert was too long and exhausting), Fatboy Slim was such a difference.

Granted I was right next to the stage, and that makes a concert experience far more enjoyable and emotionally affecting than in the stands, but the crowd was different. People were just facing the stage and dancing. You didn’t feel like an idiot dancing by yourself because so many other people were doing it as well. Everyone in the smaller crowd was having a blast. I stood next to the speakers and was deaf in my left ear for the rest of the evening. But your energy level went right up and it was so much fun. He really is a superb DJ.

As a side-note, I really don’t know why more gamer types aren’t more eclectic in their tastes and start getting into good dance instead of being so ‘hardcore’ all the time. It’s a lot more upbeat, and the video screens flash bright dynamic imagery. It’s awesome. Putting Fatboy Slim on at the same time as Metallica meant a lot of people missed out, big time.

My only major gripe of the evening is my standard concert one- When will they learn to make Extra-Small concert T-Shirts? The Coca-Cola Colab tops were great but their baggy size meant I’d never wear one in public.

The concert really was an once-in-a-lifetime experience for rock-loving South Africans. I’m glad I was there.

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